Random Acts of SelfInsertion
by Koyakku
Summary: Chapter 4! Uhhh. . . Hm. All I have to say is. . . Stay in school. Summer leads to boredom. Boredom leads to caffinated drinks. Caffinated drinks lead to stories like this.
1. Yuske

Not mine: Yuuske. That's it.  
  
~Yuuske Urameshi's Encounter with the Pink Bunny Ears~  
  
Yuuske: *is walking down a random street, whistling*  
  
[Pink bunny ears appear on Yuuske's head!]  
  
Yuuske: Eh?! What the - -  
  
[People begin to stare at the costumed Spirit Detective.]  
  
Yuuske: I'm not costumed!  
  
[A pink bunny suit replaces Yuuske's normal green clothes]  
  
Yuuske: O.o HEY!  
  
[A fangirlish giggle is heard coming from the sky.]  
  
Yuuske: What the fuzzy?!  
  
[A brown-haired catgirl drops from the sky.]  
  
Yuuske: Who are you?! Are you a youkai?!  
  
Mysterious Catgirl: ^_^ *nods*  
  
Yuuske: DID YOU DO THIS?!  
  
MC: *devilish grin* Yup!  
  
Yuuske: *ding!* Hey! You must be that crazy fangirl Kurama and Hiei told me about!  
  
MC: OHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOOOOO! Absolutely right, Spirit Detective! I see you're not as dumb as you look!  
  
Yuuske: *glare* SO WHY ARE YOU HERE?!  
  
MC: *pointy-teeth evil smirk* I was bored.  
  
Yuuske: So you torture me?  
  
MC: Yep.  
  
Yuuske: Wait, weren't we at your house one time? When that scary mutant thing yelled at us for trying to save the world from Toguro?  
  
[A large fireball flies down frome the sky and incinerates Yuuske, leaving only the seemingly indestructable bunny ears flaming at the tips.]  
  
MC: . . . Oops, guess you should never insult Z-chan if you can help it. . . *picks up bunny ears and extinguishes the flame at the tip of each ear* I'd better keep these. *to people watching* You can leave now! Nothing left to see here! Just a flaming crater where a human being used to be!  
  
People: O.o *sweatdrop*  
  
MC: *is now waving arms frantically* Leave! NOW! Bai bai! Adios! Ja ne! Asta la Vista! Sayonara!  
  
~~Special note~~  
YO! It's great to be back! ^-^ Anyway, sorry about any disturbance caused to *untypable name. . . ok, I forgot.* I'm glad for the compliment, even though you probably didn't intend it to be one. Oh, and I will be at your house, 2:00 AM, April 22, 2004. You'll see me in the dark shadows of your room. DO NOT BE ALARMED. It's just a friendly response to your review of my _very_ short lived story.  
  
To all of the other people insane enough to read this, please tell me if you liked it. I may put up another chapter. 


	2. Kurama

Not mine: Yoko Kurama *sad*, Karasu *very sad*. I also don't own the Wild Arms Series' Guardians.  
  
~The Rabid Fangirls of Kiwiland~  
  
[Yoko Kurama is walking in a large, lush forest, seemingly unaware of the brown-haired catgirl stalking him diligently. He continues walking until the catgirl steps on a twig, breaking it with a audible *snap*. His sensitive fox ears pick the sound up easily, and he whirls around to see. . . ]  
  
MC: YOKO KURAMA! DUUUUCK! *flying tackles him just as three random teenage girls fly out of a bush directly at him*  
  
Yoko Kurama: . Awk! *is flying tackled*  
  
RTG: *hearts in eyes* Kurama! WE LOVE YOU!!!!  
  
RTG1: I love you so much, I have collected every picture on the Internet that even has a glimpse of your tail!  
  
RTG2: _I_ love you so much, I have read all stories on the Web that even mention your name!  
  
RTG3: Well, I love you so much, I have a shrine of you in my room in which I put the printed-out versions of BOTH pictures and stories! ^_^ -- 3  
  
RTGs 1 and 2: NO WAY! HE'S MINE!  
  
RTG3: YEAH RIGHT! He would never even look your way!  
  
RTG1: He's in love with ME!  
  
RTG2: No, he's in love with ME!  
  
RTG3: You're both wrong! HE LOVES ME AND ONLY ME!  
  
[Yoko Kurama and the Mysterious Catgirl watch this exchange with mild intrest.]  
  
Yoko Kurama: Whew, thanks. I would hate to be stuck in a tug-of-war with those three.  
  
MC: Shhh! I've had experience with this kind before! *shifty eyes, pulls out notebook* I wrote my observations in here.  
  
[Yoko Kurama looks in the notebook. All that is written in it is "KARASU" in big block letters covering the entire page. The same is true for the next five pages.]  
  
Yoko Kurama: Er. . . There aren't any observations in here.  
  
MC: *shifty eyes* I said shhh! They might be listening. . .  
  
Yoko Kurama: *blink*  
  
MC: Good. Now, the notes are at the back. Those five pages are my security system, they'll keep any of those *gestures to RTG* fangirls out. Let me demonstrate. *walks over to RTG2*  
  
RTG2: Hey! What do you want?!  
  
MC: Here, look at this. *flips to page seven in notebook*  
  
RTG2: *reads page, eyes get huge* OH. MY. GUARDIANS!  
  
MC: What, don't you like my little story? ^-^  
  
RTG2: EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! THAT'S NAAASTYYYY! KARASU IS SOO CREEPY AND WEIRD! HE DOESN'T DESERVE KURAMA!  
  
MC: *nods head* Thank you. That will be all. *walks back over to Yoko Kurama* See? They can't stand it!  
  
Yoko Kurama: Can I read it?  
  
MC: Eh? Sure.  
  
[ The story reads: One day, Kurama was walking in a forest much like the one he's in right now. Suddenly, the all-powerful Karasu jumped out from behind a tree and began to kiss Kurama passionately. Kurama leaned into the other demon's embrace, wrapping his arms around him in rapture--]  
  
Yoko Kurama: Er, I think I've read enough.  
  
MC: Ah well. JUST CALL ME IF YOU EVER HAVE FANGIRL TROUBLE! *jumps up and teleports away*  
  
Yoko Kurama: Eh. . . Sure.  
  
Wheeeee! ANOTHER CHAPTER! YAYSIES! ^-^ Anyway, er, glad to disturb people! It IS my job, after all! 


	3. Kuwabara

Discalimer thingy: I do not own, nor do I want to own, Kuwabara. Eikichi's not mine either.  
  
KUWABARA VS. THE EVIL RABID WIFFLE BATS  
  
[Kuwabara is sitting at his desk supposedly doing homework. He is obviously not.]  
  
Kuwabara: This is a wonderfully normal, kitty-filled day! *hums* I love kitties! La la kitties! I'm soooo macho! *looks over on the other side of the room* OH NO!  
  
[Mysterious Catgirl is standing by the window.]  
  
Kuwabara: WHAT HAPPENED TO THAT CAT?! IT'S LIKE, ALL MUTATED AND STUFF!  
  
[MC's eye begins to twitch as she scowls]  
  
Kuwabara: DON'T WORRY, LITTLE KITTY! I'LL GET YOU SOME HELP!  
  
[MC's tail twitches in sync with her eye.]  
  
Kuwabara: We need to get you to the vet! You must have come in contact with some nuclear waste, or something!  
  
[This was the last straw for MC. Growling, she pulls out a large wiffle bat.]  
  
MC: Kuwabara no baka! SHINE, BAKA! *starts beating poor Kuwabara*  
  
Kuwabara: Hey! *whap* Ack! *whap* Itai! *whap* Owie! *togg* What was that?  
  
MC: . . .Oops. I think I broke it. *examines bat* Yep, here it is. *points to a miniscule crack near the handle of the bat* You baka. You broke Gav- kun's wiffle bat. Boy, is he gonna be maaaad at you! ^-^  
  
Kuwabara: . . . Who? What? *ding!* Hey, I didn't break it! YOU did!  
  
MC: Prove it.  
  
Kuwabara: Er. . . uh. . . You had it! It's got your finger. . .  
  
[MC holds up her hand/paw so Kuwabara can see it. There are no grooves of any kind on it.]  
  
Kuwabara: . . . Prints. . . on it?  
  
MC: Nice try, for an idiot. But, as long as it was you and not me that broke it, I think we can afford to do the thing properly, eh?  
  
Kuwabara: . . .Mommy.  
  
[MC smashes the bat over Kuwabara's head.]  
  
MC: Now, to do what I came here for! Eikichi! Here kitty! I came like I said I would!  
  
[Eikichi runs over from under the bed where he was hiding.]  
  
Eikichi: Merrrrowww! Translation: Finally! I can get away from this loser! YEE-HAW!  
  
MC: You're welcome!  
  
Eikichi: Nya, meera mya mua mra? So, where are you taking me?  
  
MC: To my place! I've only got girl cats, so I think you'd like it there!  
  
Eikichi: MEEEERRRRA! MRA! WOOOOO-HOOO! BABES!  
  
MC: *sweatdrops* Er. . . okay then. Let's go! WHOOOOOOSSSSHH! ^-^ *cheesy superhero saved the day music*  
  
[Eikichi and MC jump out the window, to the location of the next YYH character for MC, to the ADHQ and "babes" for Eikichi.]  
  
Soooo. . . I HAVE A LOYAL FAN!!! ^________^ Kurama-freak, you ROCK! Thank you for making a simple writer very happy. I've never had a loyal fan before! Hooray for loyal fans! Hooray for furry gerbiloons! Hooray for dirigiberbles! Ahem. . . sorry. ^^; Read and review, flames will be used to warm up this computer room, it gets pretty cold in here sometimes. 


	4. Hiei and Destiny of the Dying

Lesse here. . . Last time I checked I didn't own anything except my Shonen Jump, my video games, and my PS2. Are they in here? No? Well then. There's nothing in here that's mine.  
  
OF NINJAS, WATER GUNS, AND SWEET SNOW  
  
[Hiei is sleeping in a tree outside Kurama's window. The bushes below the tree rustle, and two familiar-looking cat ears poke out. MC is dressed in a completely black ninja suit, humming the "Mission: Impossible" theme song very quietly. She quickly scales the tree, stopping just above the peacefully sleeping demon.]  
  
MC: Meh heh heh. . . .  
  
[She pulls out a small squirt gun, eyes darting around suspiciously as she stops humming. Leveling it at Hiei's head, she slowly pulls the trigger. . . ]  
  
Kurama: -looking out the window- Hiei? Wake up! Yuuske and Keiko are here, and it would be rude of you not to come see them.  
  
MC: O.O -falls out of the tree face first- Pleagh. -spits out mouthful of dirt-  
  
Hiei: -slowly opens eyes- Do I have to?  
  
Kurama: Yes.  
  
Hiei: Too bad. -closes eyes and prepares to go back to sleep-  
  
Kurama: -sigh- I'll give you sweet snow if you come down and visit.  
  
Hiei: Hn. . . -opens eyes and jumps past Kurama into the room- Let's get this over with.  
  
[They walk out of the room. Below, MC looks up at the window as an idea slowly forms.]  
  
MC: Meh heh heh. . . . This is even better! Now I can get that Spirit Detective as well! -flips gun back into its holster- This is a slight change in plans, but. . . . It'll work. Hopefully.  
  
[MC sneaks to the front of the house and peers in the front window. Kurama and Keiko are talking, and Yuuske and Hiei look bored. MC grins wickedly, but suddenly the grin fades as she remembers something.]  
  
MC: -muttering- I didn't bring that. . . did I? I'll have to check.  
  
[MC riffles around in Malletspace for a little bit before pulling out a huge squirt gun with the words "DESTINY OF THE DYING" printed on the side in red and black lettering. Her evil grin comes back.]  
  
MC: Oh YEEAAAAHHHHH!  
  
[She creeps to the door, slowly turning the knob before letting the door creak open of its own accord to heighten the mood. . . .]  
  
One day later. . . .  
  
[MC is covered in bandages, lying on a hospital bed. She groans and opens her eyes to see a VERY amused Kristen.]  
  
Kristen: So, Gwennie. Did you really think you could stand up to two demons and a Spirit Detective with Destiny of the Dying?  
  
Gwenne: -mumbles something akin to 'Whez Desiny?'-  
  
Kristen: Sheesh, not even a "Thanks for saving me, sis!" or "What happened?" Nooo, you just go straight to the stupid gun! -Gwenne glares at her- Alright! I have it, don't worry.  
  
Gwenne: Ngh. Good. So what did happen?  
  
Kristen: Right when you decided to barge in on them, Hiei decided he was going to go for a walk. You ran right into him. Oh, and Gwenne. . . . -Holds up Eikichi, who purrs- Is this yours? It's been bugging Faye-chan and Lita.  
  
Gwenne: Yeah. . . I saved him from Kuwabaka.  
  
Kristen: -sigh- You mean Kuwabara?  
  
Gwenne: Same thing.  
  
Kristen: Well, I'm sure he misses him. I'll take him back tomorrow.  
  
Gwenne: -yawn- Nnkay. Thaz nice.  
  
Ookay. Spot the obscure Trigun reference and win a cookie. Oh, and my writer's block is gone. Thou shalt review, or thou shalt feel the wrath of the Destiny of the Dying. But first we'll tickle you. 


End file.
